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Dirty Dave is my name and I've seen a thing or two. We'll start off easy. The program's name was Highways and Byways, it was ran by a short little guy that fancied himself a street preacher and he had connections with the local court system. So I guess you could say there was kind of a pipeline from jail to the Charles Ham interprise. We referred to ourselves as Hamonites and as such, we operated a slew of shady businesses from Paul's transmission shop to a pair of thrift stores and even a snowcone cart called Mr. Freeze. All staffed by drug addicts, thieves and paedos. On Sundays after church, we would chase hookers off the streets and shut down crack houses with nothing more than picket signs and a bull-horn.If you didn't do exactly what the pastor wanted, he would, "hook you up". That would usually involve some poor sap being sent out to sweep the stoop only to be swarmed by PD and taken away.Ever got a blow job from a toothless old queer, in a four man bed room at midnight? I. A rider on a brilliant white steed, clad in shining armour. The figure drew their sword at the presence of the goblins, and advanced towards the village center where the chief awaited them."Goblins!" they bellowed, "I have no quarrel with you yet! Hand her over, and I will spare your lives!"The chief, not wanting trouble with someone who could cause them a lot of pain, was about to hand the woman over, when the woman broke her silence, and struggled against being handed over with all her might, shouting till she was hoarse. "Please I beg you, don't hand me over! I can't go back, I cannot!"Seeing this the chief hesitated, which the rider saw as refusal. "You dirty creatures don't know what you're doing!" The rider charged towards the woman, attempting to scoop her up without considerence of any goblins that might've been in their way. It was then when the goblins fought back. They swarmed the rider, jumping onto the horse and hitting them over and over with their weapons. The rider.
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