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”“And how was it?”“Well... up until a few days ago I would have said ‘okay’ but now... ““Inadequate?”She smiled as she reached for his bulge. “Yes. I would say that describes it quite aptly.”He pulled her to him. “I hate a service that is just adequate,” he told her. “Show me this dining table. I’ll show you what excellence is.” Alan Alan sat back in his chair holding his half-filled glass of wine. The steak had been excellent, just as Bradley said it would be. He felt satisfied and the wine had given him an air of calm. He looked at his watch. It was almost eight forty-five now. Dawn had been alone with Bradley for well over an hour now; she would have been well and truly fucked by now. They would probably be in bed now; cuddling and talking quietly. Dawn liked to talk in bed after making love. She used to do it a lot, but he had stopped listening over the years; nowadays they just fell asleep in each other’s arms.He had a feeling that Bradley wouldn’t be asleep just yet. He would. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will go on and off.Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern.
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