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Just as I'd feared, whatever was happening to me was now affectingLittle Martin, or, I should say, Littler Martin. My penis was teensynow, practically buried in my black pubic hair, with just the nub of thehead protruding, like the face of an animal in deep grass."Emily, come in here!" I shouted in my new, higher, uber-stupid soundingvoice.She came running and by the shocked look on her face, I could tell sheknew it too. "Oh my god! Emily Jr.'s so... so tiny..." Oh man, oh man," I moaned. "If this keeps up, I'm the one who's goingto be Emily, Jr."I felt like vomiting, but instead, I started crying. I threw myself downon the messy, unmade bed and wept like a little girl. Which wasfitting, I guess. Emily sat beside me and rubbed my back. Incredibly, mytiny dumb penis got erect. We started kissing, Emily and I, but when Itried to enter her, she pushed me away."I can't," she said, softly. She held me for a while, and my bitsyerection slowly subsided. I felt hollowed out and let down,. Weird Harold and I had one hell of a wedding, though. His dad got a special deal on the upper floor of a funeral home over on Ardmore, the Little Chapel of the Burnished Prawn. What with all the limousines pulling up in front, it looked like a Mafia chieftain had bitten his last linguini. The booze and food were great. Jack-in-the-Box did the catering, along with Cut- Rate Likkers.My Mom ran around like a chicken with its head chopped off, shouting, "Isn't it wonderful? I'm so happy!" to no one in particular. My Pop stood in a corner, getting stiff-ass drunk, his face kind of olive green. Mr. Himmler, the land baron, was a squat barrel of a man in an orange and blue plaid sports coat, maroon bell-bottom slacks, white leather shoes with lots of tiny pin holes in them. For a wedding present he gave us a five bedroom, split level home over in the creek development. Mrs. Himmler looked like the mummy unwrapped. Pasty pale face, hideous auburn flip wig. The only time a life-like.
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