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[Dan looks mortified as short videos of the now half-men competing played at the bottom of the screen. Elly tried to stifle her laughter. This was not a skill she had.]D: Thank you all for your respect. [Dan gives Elly a dirty look]E: [still laughing] It's time to introduce the different events for this year's competition. Would you like to help me, Dan?D: Of course! Let's start with the first event from the first Ballbusting Olympics; the long jump. On one side, we have a man standing, naked from the waist down. On the other side, we have a woman who will jump 10 feet, kicking his balls before landing. She gets three kicks to get points before the other team starts. Bringing the man to his knees is rewarded with 5 points and taking him down to all 4s is worth 10. After all 5 of a team's women have their turns, a nurse will inspect the man's testicles to determine extra points.E: We also have my favorite; the carriage race! In this event a man has his penis and testicles tied to a. Were anybody to get wind of where these convenient deaths were coming from, my own life wouldn’t be worth very much for very long.I would have to become The Lone Arranger.So I spent a lot of time on the Internet and at the public library, reading up on the world’s principal Bad Guys. I tried to be careful to separate the wheat from the chaff. It wasn’t enough to establish merely that some military leader or national dictator was a known tyrant. I needed to determine, at least as best I could, that he was a true obstacle to progress in his home country. He was preventing better people from perhaps ruling with a more beneficent hand.He (or she) had to be unjust, power-mad, and cruel.There were plenty of candidates (and most of them didn’t survive my basic research). It was hard work, but once I satisfied myself that a Bad Guy didn’t have any redeeming social value, the “work” of sending him straight to Hell was as simple as could be.I just mentally zapped the S.O.B. and waited for the.
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