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“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes, sir” the shop assistant coos. “I’ve already had 5 satisfied customers this morning, and it’s only 11:30am”. “Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and. While I'm sitting there a young boy came over (that's exactly what he is too) and poked his head in and said hey" " well I knew him because my friends son used to play with him, so I said hi how are you? Well we are sitting on the couch chatting and I asked how is school? Hate it" " I chuckled and then he ...said maybe I f you were my teacher I'd like it. This boy has flirted with me since he was old enough to talk lol. Not that this Matters but he's black most of the neighborhood is. Time passes and I go to the bathroom when got back to the living room I noticed him smelling my shoes and he drops them really quick. I didn't want to embarrass him so I go along with it by saying do they stink? He replied saying I bet nothing about you stinks" so I picked one up and smelled and said nah not to bad...... then he grabbed it smells again. Are you a foot person? He said I might be if they all looked like yours. I said... does your girlfriend have pretty feet? I don't have one. Jokingly.
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