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Her gay friend blew up like this pretty much every weekend, after attempting to trawl for some man-love and coming up empty."This area is so ultra-fundie that I'm more likely to get lynched than laid, Jacks! Why the hell did we move out here?" Sylvester fumed.Well, Jackie had moved to this small town because she had been accepted for a teaching position at the local elementary school. Sly had been rooming with her when she got the assignment, and tagged along. "Sure, let's blow this shithole city," he had said. Sly was a bit of a potty-mouth sometimes, but Jackie loved him. He was her best friend. Some people would call her a "fag hag" for it, but she didn't care. It was like having a girlfriend, except one with a masculine body that she could ogle whenever she wanted.Jackie got up, gave a "stay there" hand signal, and headed to the kitchen. She returned with bottles of rye and cola, and tumblers. "Just what the doctor ordered," she said.Sly accepted the libation with a dour. Pushingtheir zippers against a wall didn't work either. They couldn't play withtheir games or any of their toys. They couldn't even stand up and had tocrawl around instead. They yelled at each other, blamed each other, andsulked.Mom and Dad opened their door and sighed. "It looks like you've chosen tokeep being selfish babies," Mom said. "I guess I should take this stuffaway and give you some big Duplo blocks to play with instead. Dinner willbe ready soon, and if a couple of big boys come down for dinner, you'llget plates of ham, and mashed potatoes with peas, and ice cream fordessert. But if you're still dressed like selfish babies, then I guessI'll just feed you some prunes and vegetables. And if you keep being thisway, we'll have to get a stroller and a changing table that will fit you,and we'll just keep treating you like selfish babies forever." But we can't take them off!" the boys whined."All you have to do is care about each other, and you can be big boysagain," Dad said."But.
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