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If I wasn't ready to start building trust again I could just as well get up, get dressed and go home. And that was the last thing I wanted to do.I must have been lost in thoughts for quite some time. However, when my eyes finally focused on Ann's again I still didn't know what to say. What I knew was that I felt good about what she had said concerning her work. It didn't sound like something I wouldn't be able to cope with, but I guessed she was right, probably I needed to see for myself."Thank you, Ann," I finally said. Her eyebrows went up and I quickly went on before she could ask. "Thank you for your honest answer." I smiled at her, my fingers hot beneath hers, thinking that maybe right now was the perfect time to start opening up.And so I told her about Eric and how it had ended, told her that I didn't easily open up and that I needed time but would do my best, all the time looking in her eyes, seeing understanding and love. Ann didn't say a word for the whole time, was smart. " Why Tommy?" Because really mum, I don't want to fuck you." Oh, I feel silly now." Well don't mum, I really don't want to fuck you." I took the cigarette away from her and stubbed it out when I held her again there were tears in her eyes."I don't want to fuck you mum, because I want to make love to you, I want to be stone cold sober as well as you when we do it."I slipped a hand round to her breasts and cupped one in the palm of my hand,"I want to feel every inch of me against you, inside you, I want to be in full control of my senses, I want to know that it's me you want and not a booze induced thrill that'll make us both ashamed the next morning."I felt the nipple rising in my hand and I teased it gently between my fingers."He fucked you mum, he never made love to you, do you think I didn't hear you crying? He used you like he'd use his fucking hand when you weren't there, well I'm not him mum, I'm me, Tommy and I love you, and I'm pissed now and tired and it's my turn to feel.
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