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My mind felt cleansed my heart felt cleansed and my body felt cleansed. I could think straight again and I couldn't feel any pain. I no longer had any self loathing or desire to die all I wanted to do was take this moment and bring these c***dren that i had pushed away for so long back into my life. I sat up and I wrapped my arms around my son and I hugged him tightly. I whispered in his ear "Luke, Tonight when your father came home I prayed for god to end this for me. I meant for God to have me die but I see now that God had a different plan on how this would end. Son you are my hero. You have saved what is left of this family." I pulled my hands on both sides of his face and kissed him on the lips. Luke was at first taken aback by my new demeanor and then my affection but he warmed up and kissed me back and at that moment there was more love between us than I had felt from anyone in years. I broke our kiss and we looked each other in the eyes and smiled. We got up at the same. It wouldn't be easy to see her, not only was she married, but we had to work 12 hour shifts, which left little time for socializing, we were, after all, there to fight fires. We were taken to the main headquarters in Portland, Oregon after we arrived and familiarized with the area and the fires now burning and then driven to a forward area where a makeshift tent city had emerged. They worked us for a week and then we were given two days off in Portland, a motel had graciously donated rooms for our use, and we were shuttled to town and dropped at the various motels. I called her cell phone and she freaked when she found out I was in town and made arrangements to meet in the afternoon.I heard a knock on my door and there before me was the woman whose picture I had stared at for so long, in the flesh! We embraced and my hands circled her body as our lips met and a long soulful kiss ensued as I kicked the door shut. She was everything I had imagined, a typical "girl next door," very.
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