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“Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich” she said.I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers...I love mustard.I had no napkin.I licked it off.It was not mustard.No man ever put a baby down faster.It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, “Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon”.When you stop laughing, pass it on.This one is from John A.No one believes seniors ... everyone thinks they are senile.An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so. But, I could tell she definitely had a great body.The next morning I was out again on my bike ride. Something was different. She was wearing clothes that fit her body and showed all of her curves. And her hair was down, long and beautiful. Tight jeans, tight two piece top, and heels, why would a mom wear those clothes and heels to walk her child to the bus? I was about to find out. As the bus pulled away she looked at me and waved. I turned toward her and rode over. She said, “It is good to finally meet you, I noticed you all three times you were nearby.” “My name was Kim, she said. As I started to walked my bike next to her I said, I am Mike.” We were making small talk, getting to know each other a little as we moved down the side walk. Kim invited me in for coffee. As soon as we stepped into her house, Kim turned to me and said, “I can really use a man.” I said, “Kim, I am here for you.” She step toward me and placed a really nice full kiss on my lips. She pulled at my jeans and.
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