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‘And your point?’ he said looking at me. ‘Think about it, there were ten of you and only your mom and I. If I didn’t rule with an iron fist, where would we have been?’ he said finishing his beer and lighting up a cigarette. ‘You’re all grown up, married and no one went to jail, I think I did a pretty good job.’ Cancer killed him a few short years later. The one thing that really stuck with me though, was something he said when I was having a problem with a chemistry class in college. I was about ready to drop it when my dad asked me why? ‘I just can’t get it,’ I told him. ‘Can’t? I don’t understand what’s the problem?’ I told him again, ‘I can’t do the damn work,’ I told him. ‘What if your life depended on it? What if you would die unless you passed that class? Would you still say I can’t do it? Son, there is no such word as can’t. If you want it bad enough, there’s always a way,’ and you know he was right. Which brings me to why I enlisted in the Marines. As I said, my family was. They say that a patient’s mindset means quite a lot when it comes to pain tolerance and how we deal with it. This time I wasn’t being tortured. This time I wasn’t waiting to die. This time I didn’t fear betraying Alex. I was doing this for him, and for myself at the same time. That allowed me to keep the pain at bay.I remember the first time I opened my eyes in almost a decade. As I had become more used to my HI-AI interface, I had spent all my time in the virtual environment. After all, when I was the Ghost in the Machine, I’d much rather be the Goddess Online rather than Broken Mary Donovan. What did my body offer me except for pain, suffering and immobility? So, it felt like I was raising sixteen tons of rocks by opening my eyes. I still had my interface, as part of the rehabilitation, but I wanted to spend as much time as I could in the real world. The light was nauseatingly painfully bright, but I still had some of my VR abilities, and sent a mental command to the light system.
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