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.. PAM! DON'T LET HIM DO THIS! LET! ME! GO!" She kicked and twisted, but to no avail."Ah! This should do!" I have a friend who likes to cast strange objects in gel. This one looked like a fat, over-sized ergonomic pacifier. It hung from a pair of elastic straps ending in a bayonet quick release buckle, sleeved in pink velvet."Let's change places so I can hold her while you put in the bit, little filly's a'gonna buck."The handoff went pretty smoothly until I pulled Tilly in close and my cock prodded her ass crack. Buck she did, like a mule backing into a wasp nest. While I got her back under control, Pam slicked the gag with edible lube.Tilly clamped her jaws shut as Pam tried to poke the gag between her teeth. Ever helpful, I pinched a nipple, hard, to make her scream. The pecker slipped between her teeth and pressed against the tip of her tongue. The flexible pink cap, barely larger than the pecker, slipped in front of her teeth. Her yelling inflated her cheeks and settled her lips. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be myself', I guess.Ugh.Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM relationships, and it resonated somewhere deep inside of me. I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led.
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