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" Aah, that's nice."Freida thought it was just the imaginings of a child and had no basis in reality.They walked home, stopping along the way for Freida to hear the latest gossip from Eloise Borkus, the widow on the corner, who had an excellent view of everyone who came by from four directions and always seemed to know who was stepping out on whom and which couples were headed towards divorce.When they got home, Peg said, "879. That makes 1726." 1626 what, Boopsie?" Steps. I gotta go baffoom."Freida eventually found out that it took Peg 847 steps to get to the park that day and 879 to get home, partly because of the detour to Mrs. Borkus' and partly because of a butterfly Peg tried to catch. Peg evidently had the ability to set up an automatic counter and would count anything she felt needed counting. Which was pretty much anything that happened more than twice.If Freida had been a modern mother, a generation younger and brought up in the good old USA instead of the old country, she. "Oh, no," I moaned, surprised by my new problem. How was this going to work?Stepping into the bathroom, I took my pants off completely, to simplify things. I lifted up the cruel device and saw that there was indeed a small hole at the tip of the shaft covering. It appeared I would be able to piss out of that hole, although, not while standing up.I sat down on the seat and released my bladder. Everything emptied normally, more or less, thank fuck. I guess I had one less small thing to stress about.With that problem out of the way, my mind quickly fixated on the next one; how would I get this off?I could go to the hospital, maybe. Yes, it would be embarrassing, but surely they would have tools and what not and be able to surgically remove it without damaging my... parts? The thought was too scary to accept for now; there had to be an easier solution.Someone must have put this on me. But who would do it and why?My phone rang, interrupting my rational paranoia. My screen told me it was my.
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