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M., leaving Jim, Curtis and me alone to deal with this totally embarrassing situation.As the final car pulled away, I looked at Jim and said quite honestly, “I can’t hold it for two hours waiting for Linda’s return! I am going to wet myself.”Curtis agreed, “Neither can I.”Jim paused for a moment, and the offered, “I understand. This is a mess. But we are adults, and we all know we have bodily functions. I guess you two will have to use the facilities while chained together.”I looked at Curtis sheepishly, and he nodded. “Sounds like the only reasonable approach to me,” he said.I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I contemplated what this meant. I am not a prude, and I am not overly shy about my body; but this was a man with whom I worked, with whom I would see every day at the office. Sharing a bathroom with him was not something I planned on doing. But I saw no other choice.I then led my large black friend through my bedroom and into my master bathroom and said, “No peeking, OK?” I. She’s about 40 years old, but still sexy in a stuck-up kind of way. Stinking rich. I’m not kidding you. But here’s the thing: When I pull in front of her castle, she goes into her purse to pay the tab, and whaddya know? She can’t find her wallet! “I’m terribly sorry,” she says in this hoity-toity voice. “I don’t seem to be able to pay you”. “That’s too fuckin’ bad, lady,” I say. “I guess you ain’t goin’ home yet then.” And I pull away from the curb and head for the nearest expressway. That got her panties all bunched up. “What can I pay you with?” she says all nervous and agitated. She’s in my environment now. “Well for starters you can suck my dick,” I say. I figure that she’ll get insulted and report me but what the heck, right? I admit it, I’ve got a crude mouth at times — I guess that’s why my wife left me…..for another woman. But get this: The bitch actually says, “Well, okay.” With that I pull off the expressway, but leave the motor running because it’s a fucking cold day, and.
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