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What happened last night?”“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”His son replies, “Oh THAT ... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”Broken Coffee Table $239.99Hot Breakfast $4.20Two Aspirins $ .38Saying the right thing, at the right time: PRICELESS!Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then. "?And neither was I after I began to come to terms with my desire for servitude.??The problem was, I thought I just wanted it to be a weekend thing--and Gretchen was very good at that. ?WHACK WHACK THWACK! "Ohhh!" I moaned after one of my early whippings.??Gretch had tied me over the arm of the sofa with my pants and shorts ?huddling about?my ankles, and she'd exercised a bamboo cane she'd picked up at a flea market. ?"What're you whining about, Miles?" Gretch had asked cheerily. "This is your dream!" ?WHACK WHACK SWAT! "You wouldn't believe how your butt looks now, hon. You've got all these purple marks all over your right cheek."?I'd turned with tear filled eyes to look at Gretchen in a snug striped turtleneck, slapping the cane in her hand. WHACK WHACK! I'd burst into tears. ?Gretchen had looked concerned and pulled me off the couch and began stroking my bottom.?Then she turned me around, pushing my scorched butt against the sofa, and she began to pull on my cock, which had.
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