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"In fact, Jack, if sperm was gunpowder, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose."I forced a smile at his intended humour. "Can't it be Helen?" Naw, Helen's fine." He replied. "She's got all her parts working. It seems that it's just me that can't provide her with the baby she wants." Come on Dave..." No!" he snapped. "I've got to face it Jack. I've got to come to terms with the whole thing."I sat and looked at him. David Grant, two years younger, more successful, richer than I would ever be, but here, in the bar, he would have thrown all that away, just in exchange for my sperm count. It was irony come home to roost and it was not lost on me.I had two ex-wives with two children to each of them. I had child support payments that were taking over half of my income, and here was my successful brother wanting a loan of my dick for a night."So why me Dave?" I asked. "Why has it got to be me for this?" As I said the words, I couldn't believe that I was trying to talk myself out of it. After. This succulent creatures natural urge to spawn drives them from the hills and swamps. Swarming the landscape they instinctively head to the beach of their ancestral birthplace. We piled into 3 or four cars and headed out to make the 2 hour journey. Rodney and Paul, the oldest drove station wagons, Mikie-B had a Mini Cooper pickup, we drove in convoy being careful not to run over the creatures crossing the road. Prepared with crocus bags to collect the crabs, the lead car would stop and signal when a large swarm was spotted, all the guys would then exit and herd them in a circle for easy pickup. We weren't afraid of the huge claws as most of us had been hunting since we were kids and learned the technique from our dads or older siblings. There was plenty of beer and weed, at each stop we quenched our thirst, or took a hit. It was a joyous night, for many of us had now graduated and this was a night to celebrate. Life in my youth was idyllic, the country .
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