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It appeared that consistent par or under scoring in the qualifiers could get you to the Open. Thus began the great crusade to cheat Pebble Beach out of a few hundred dollars in green fees.I finished up my week in Vegas two hundred thousand to the good and closer to establishing a "legitimate" handicap. I also test drove various escorts during my stay. Still didn't care for condoms, but most of the time the sex was great for me and, with all due respect to the ladies, that's who I have sex for.I had originally planned to head overseas for more gambling (and because I like to travel) but this US Open thing had taken hold of me and I needed to see it through. I got back to my old town, checked into a great hotel and gave Dr. Frost, aka Susan a call. We had a very nice time and even got in some golf. If she was faking her orgasms she was at least as accomplished at it as the escorts I had seen.Once I had my official USGA handicap I sent in my application for the Open. For a whopping $150. ." which the radio proceedes to do with a bang much louder than the actual flash and smoke would suggest.Mrs. I-Can't-Recall-Now-But-It'll-Come-To-Me-In-A-Moment turns to her friend and sometimes lover, but not this week because her husband is on a business trip, Mrs. Not-This- Week-(and so on)."I hate it when Radio Four explodes." At least it wasn't Radio Two." Yes. That is so much messier. The transistors always get stuck in the cat." Yes, yes."A pregnant pause settles over the room.Finally Mrs. Not-This-Week... announces, "I hope that pause doesn't give birth in here. It's bad enough with the radio exploding, just imagine the mess after it has all those little pauses." Yes, yes," agrees Mrs. I-Can't-Recall... "and it is always so hard trying to give the litter away. Wait too long and there's another batch or twelve. The little buggers are like foreigners, can't keep their legs apart." Yes, yes." Well, what do we do now." Let's see what's on the tely." Ooooo! I think it's another.
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