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If she was willing to help with chores, though, she had to like me, at least a little. If I could stay with her for the weekend, I might be able to avoid Clara. Sure, she would punish me for that in new year, but they’d always find something to punish me for, anyway. I didn’t want to feel unsafe in my own home, like she could come any time she wanted. It was one of the hardest things I had done, but I overcame my shyness and fear of rejection, and asked Fiona--begged, really--if I could come to visit her the next weekend. I was so afraid she’d show contempt or disapproval my hands were shaking.She said no. It was just as I feared. No-one would ever care about me.Sure, she had an excuse. Everyone had an excuse. Kira had asked her. Didn’t she know I needed her more? Didn’t she know it was an emergency? No, she didn’t know, because I couldn’t--wouldn’t--tell her. I lashed out like a brat, and I was afraid she was going to destroy me with her words, or worse, do something like what she. Col looked at me. “I hate it.” His face screwed up with emotion. “Apparently, I am a Nazi, a hun, a kraut and various other bad names used by you English during the war.” He paused, eyes rolling. “Some of them are calling me Adolf. I hate England. I hate you English.” I could see the hurt in his eyes and hear the anger in his voice.“There is one Polish girl who insists on calling me Szkop, which is probably something rude in Polish.”“Col, I’m so sorry. Have you told them you are not a Nazi – that your mother was in a concentration camp? Surely that would make a difference?”“I can’t tell them. I can’t tell them anything because we need to stay hidden.” Col shouted, then turned and ran into his bedroom, slamming the door closed.I had never seen Col so hurt and angry and I was unsure what to do. I also realised that I had never been inside Col’s bedroom and entering now felt strangely like a violation of his space, but I still knocked.“Col? Col? Can I come in?”Through the door, I could.
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