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She puts clothes on my back and a roofover my head and gives me money to spend on the food that I prepare forher. If she threw me out, I would be very vulnerable. I like it that way.The whole irrevocably "stuck" feeling. It helps me to focus on pleasing herwhen I feel lazy. She likes it too. Lyla enjoys the power trip of keeping aformerly successful man in a dress, submissive, pleasing, always available.Sometimes, she really, really likes it.Lyla works with people and handles cases. When she comes home, she needs tobe pleased, fed, pampered, and loved. That's my job, to take care of her.And that's pretty much all I do. I still read a little and keep up withsome of my old interests. This pleases Lyla, keeping my mind active, myintellect sharp. But mainly, I serve her. I serve her by meeting here atthe door with parted lips, downcast eyes, a shy smile, and a cold beveragein hand. I serve her by sweeping the floors daily in heels and a dress. Iserve her by preparing the checks for her. I'mthankful that due to the mask I don't have to pluck my eyebrows.Clothes have been ironed and laundry put away. A whole night devoted toactivities Kevin would never give a second thought to. The other sideindeed.I'm sitting cross-legged on Ellen's bed, cotton wool between my toes,wearing just her panties, bra and a camisole, painting my nails --refreshing the color on the acrylics with a nice coral shade that willgo with the dress I'm planning on wearing tomorrow. My phone is by myside, dull and lifeless. I keep looking at it, daring it to glow with animpending caller, wondering who is going to call first.And hoping, right this second, that no one does. I don't want to mess upmy nails.It could be Shayna. After last night I want to hear her voice. I want totell her about my day and hear about hers. It could be Wayne, having achange of heart after thinking things over. This is preposterous, he'dsay. I can hear him saying it. The phone remains dull. It could beMiranda, wanting to.
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