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"Is that lock to keep me in or you out? Now what do I do about my truck?" "If you want to keep your truck, we'll tow it out here and you can work on it here. If you don't want it, sign the title, and I'll have it towed to the county impound. They will auction it off. I will warn you Spade, this is a straight up deal. Don't try to fuck with me or I'll put a nice neat hole where your belly button is." "Well, boss lady, when do you want me to start? You can draw me a picture, stay out of the way, and I will work till you are satisfied for twenty bucks an hour plus meals and room. Now do we have a deal or not?" Nikkie coughs and clears her throat, "Well, mister hardass, twenty bucks it is, but when I'm late getting home, you cook and you help me with cleanup after meals. Now do we have a deal or not, huh huh?" "We got a deal, but I'm telling you up front, you come home with holes in you, I ain't no doctor." "Okay. I always wear my vest, but that doesn't mean I'm bullet proof. Besides,. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address etc. and then asks, “What’s your occupation?”“I’m a prostitute,” she says.The accountant is taken aback and says, “That’s too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that.”The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl.”“No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable.”They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute?”“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”Chartered Acct : “Brilliant!! ‘Poultry Farmer’ it is! and Agricultural Income is tax-free.”Twelve of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting.
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