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So I went downstairs and grabbed my game and then I turned around to find Susan was standing right there. “Did you honestly think I have noticed you spying on me from you bedroom window every fucking night for the past week? Did you think I was that stupid to not notice you starring at my ass almost every fucking time you come here?” She said. Susan was royally pissed. I nervously glanced around to see I there was something I could do. “Your one perverted kid you know that? She yelled. Her face started to become pink. Blood flowed rapidly from her heart to her face. Millions of blood cells colliding onto each other. Its amazing that deep down we all look alike but on the outside shell we are all different. From the beginning we start of as a sperm cell and an egg. Thousands of chemical reactions happen all at once over a time span of nine months, to create one of the universes greatest masterpieces life itself. Susan inhaled a huge load of air. She was going to blast me.“If you want. ”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I’ll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.Then I remembered the local cafe serves breakfast until 11.30.Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door’s garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said.
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