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It became directed at one group. Hate was what I felt for the people that had caused thoes close to me to be harmed. I had a full hate for those who had killed and maimed for the desire of power. There would be an accounting held, and I would collect on it. I could have let the hate feed me. I could have let the hate consume me with a righteousness, but I, once again, let myself go. I brought the focus back to myself and let myself be nothing. All thought was released and all feelings were let alone to be what they wanted to be. These feelings became part of my fiber and part of my essence. I accepted them and absorbed them. I let them become me as much as I became them. They were only a part of me, and I was not controlled by my emotions. I was in control. I was the whole that they were parts of."How do you feel?" I heard whispered from the voice. "Tell me how you feel?"I let out a sigh. "I feel ... good." I replied, exuding calm.The world around me, the darkness and nothingness I. "It's your father, John. He's dead."My stepmother explained to me that my father had a heart attack earlier that night and by the time the ambulance had gotten to him, he was too far gone. There was a wake and funeral planned for later in the week and she very much wanted me to be there for them both.I made arrangements the next day with the college, informing them that I would be taking a leave from my classes for a while to deal with my loss. I also called my girlfriend to let her know that I would be coming home as well. (She was a year younger than me and still in highschool in my hometown.) I had a day's drive ahead of me, and if I wanted to make it home in time for the funeral, I had to leave right away.The last time I had been home was several months ago for my father's wedding to my new stepmother. I'd been to busy with classes to return home since and to tell the truth, I wasn't completely comfortable with the thought of my new stepmother and her three daughters moving into.
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