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I felt my pulse quicken and body respond just hearing your voice and having you this close to me. We made plans to get together while you were in town. You gave me your number and I looked at it all day before finally caving in and sending you a text. It takes a few days but we finally make arrangements and you came to my house, thankfully this gave me time to coach my mind and body to control its self. I tell myself over and over, “Don’t let him touch you. If he touches you it is over, you know you won’t be able to resist. Don’t do it. He’s only in town for the week and then he will be walking out of your life again.” You came in and sat beside me on the couch. I squeeze into my corner of it trying to keep a safe distance between us. As if there is such a thing when it comes to you; we talk about old times and catch on the last few years. We make plans to get together the next evening. We do this dance several more times, getting together some more times that week, with me mentally. One evening after work, I navigated my way to the gay section of Shinjuku, one of the major neighborhoods of Tokyo. It was a jumble of tiny, messy streets, neon signs and mostly men who had come to make their furtive way through the highly closeted world of gay life and relationships of the day. I visited several bars which were packed with older white men and "sissy-like" younger Japanese men - similar to the "piss elegant" gay bars of West Hollywood and parts of New York of that time. You know the "drill": You sit at a bar and flirt with each other, eventually buying someone a drink and then talking and being charming for a long time. And maybe a blow job in a dark alley.I was out for a fuck, so that was a waste of time. I hit the crowded back alleys and began to wander. As I walked - a bit "loaded" from several cocktails - I noticed a neon sign on the street that read: "Executive Massage for Men." Any sort of "Massage" or "Turkish Bath" parlor was a front for prostitution. But.
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