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I turned around and she was standing in the kitchen doorway wearing a blue velvet jogging suit and rubbing her damp hair with a fluffy white towel. I did not need telling twice, I stepped up and pulled her close lifting her feet up off the floor. ‘God Maggie, I’ve bloody missed you!’ I said, swinging her round in a circle. I stopped and she just hung there suspended against me her feet tucked up behind her. We stood like that for what seemed to be an eternity but was probably only a few seconds and then she lowered her feet to the ground and I released her from my bear hug. There was a wild tension starting in the pit of my stomach, if I did not step back there and then I knew that I would do or say something really stupid and ruin everything. ‘Come and sit down and have a cup of coffee.’ I said finally. ‘Christ but you’re strong Jamie, I think you have crushed every bone in my body!’ she laughed, ‘But it is nice to think that somebody has missed me, I think the girls couldn’t wait. After catching a dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the 1950s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on the Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” the official said.Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage, buying up all the hip hop CDs, and renting all of the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t absorb and support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many inept art and history majors does one country need?”Rumor has it that England is shortly to blow up the Channel Tunnel but that’s another story.here’s another from pasheekyAROUND AGE 10, my dad got me one of those little badass long bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our.
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