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I had this desire to suck a man’s cock for the past few months, to be down on my knees in front of a man and to take his manhood into my mouth and work it over until he exploded inside of me. It had all started after my last relationship with Gina. I had been in bad relationships in the past, but this one was one of the worst. She was mean, degrading and had made me feel like shit more than she made me feel good, but it kept me coming back, it kept me begging. Even when she withheld sex from me and told me that she didn’t think that I deserved it, I felt like I had to stay with her and prove something. It turned me into a submissive and the one fantasy that I couldn’t get out of my head after she broke up with me was me down on my knees at the mercy of another man. Of course, even better would be at the mercy of a woman, forcing me to take a cock for her, but I could only fantasize about that now. I had to try taking a cock on my own first. Every weekend for the past few months I had. Exhibits A-D: Four steaming and delicious mugs of hot buttered rum and homemade brandy (a federal offense).Exhibits E-F: Two contests to determine who could take the most hits from a marijuana-filled hookah in sixty seconds. It became the loser’s task to equal the winner’s toke total. I won the first series and lost the second.Exhibits G: Seraina and my lady love shuffling a deck of cards and suggesting we relax by playing a round of strip poker.Then the record fades to gray, too fuzzy to read or remember. I wonder, did I have a good time?Hangovers are major impediments to thoughtful contemplation. A hangover is also a significant impediment to meditation. Instead of contemplating my navel, I stared at the ceramic tiles between my bare feet and tried not to throw up and tried to make sense out of the fast forty-eight hours. I held my head between my hands and stared at the bathroom flooring between my toes. I was startled to notice the colony’s toilet paper carried designs that.
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