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As my climax approached I should have felt elated, but I just felt depressed. I eventually fell asleep, but the whole of the next day this sense of despair continued. By evening, pressed like sardines on the Tube, I was practically suicidal. No longer did I dream of her, I totally hated her for showing me what I could now never ever have again. I am not the sort, though, that could ever take the easy way out, so after drinking half a bottle of scotch, I sat at my desk and surfed the internet for porn. Anything to help numb the awful combination of longing and need. I found the usual stuff, watched a few of the vids, and then changed to a pop-up window that my browser had been unable to prevent. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There were cartoon images of people (?) very similar to the Xanth. It was, of course, a Japanese Anime site, but the images seemed so very familiar. There was an email address, and I hurriedly sent a note in English asking for more information about who had. I suggested to Graham that as were flying out early the next day that we go out for an early dinner and ‘celebrate’ our last night on holiday. I put on a dress and white panties but no bra. I knew Graham liked to see the outline of my small breasts through a tight-fitting dress and maybe it was the result of my guilty shag earlier, but I thought I should try harder to please him.I am not sure why I bothered though, Graham put on scruffy shorts and a couple of vest t-shirts to guard against the slight chill in the air, and really made no effort at all for our last night. Suddenly I no longer regretted what had happened earlier, well maybe the unfaithfulness I regretted hugely but not the orgasm I experienced. My mind was full of such contradictions.Dinner was as strained as usual, we couldn’t go to an upmarket restaurant because of what Graham was wearing and Graham was already taking work calls between courses to disrupt any chance of cosy relationship chats. We both washed down our.
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