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From the way our quarry was moving, I suspected that I had shot him in the left shoulder, but I couldn't be sure until I saw him. The brush started getting thinner and we sped up in hopes of catching the yahoo before he could get to his horse.We broke out of the brush and saw a man just trying to mount up, but having a hard time of it because of a wound in his left shoulder. He was about 30 yards away and I yelled, "HOLD UP, THERE! STOP OR WE'LL SHOOT!"He didn't stop trying to get on his horse, so Juan and I ran toward him. He gave up trying to mount and pulled his gun. There was nothing for it, Juan and I both fired at him before he could shoot at us. One of us caught him in the chest and the other caught him in the gut. It didn't make any difference which bullet came from which gun, either one would have killed him.We both bent over the dead man to see what we could learn. The first thing I checked was his gun; it was a cap and ball Army Brass. This had to be the yahoo that shot. ”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I’ll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.Then I remembered the local cafe serves breakfast until 11.30.Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door’s garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said.
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