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I don't particularly mind whether you write it correctly the first time, or whether you fix it afterwards, but this is the last time I see this sort of confusion. Do we understand each other?" Absolutely, Miss." Fine. Let's go then to the plot's coherence..."She shredded my story. There were lots of holes in the plot, things that didn't make sense, mistakes in dates, causes propagating back in time against all logic ... it was awful. In a way it had been easier to see the low-level spelling and grammar corrections filling the pages with red ink than to hear her destroy the whole thing. I could tell myself I just didn't have a good eye for detail, but my stories were creative and worth telling. She was right, though: it would take a lot of work to salvage such a thing."Now, I have an objection to the way you deal with Adam's change. He's a successful, if small-time, business owner. He's single, independent, arrogant and stubborn. You told your readers that much, and you've shown it. The road curves and just as he goes around the bend, Adam sees a girl in a short skirt on the side of the road walking. As he approaches, she turns and puts her thumb out. She is wearing sunglasses and a turtle neck sweater. At first Adam doesn’t recognize her, thinking that it must be one of Paula’s friends or something. How else would the girl know to look for a hitchhiker? She comes to the truck and he leans over to open the door and sees that it is Paula.“Thanks for stopping, mister,” she says. “I’ve been on this road for nearly an hour and you’re the first one to come along.” She smiles at him. “Mind if I catch a ride with you?”Adam sees this ploy for what it is: a little game that she wants to play. There’s nothing wrong with a little roleplay. “Sure,” get in,” he says. “Where are you going?”She climbs in the truck, and when she sits down, her short skirt slides high on her thighs. Adam cannot help but notice how her breasts are stretching the tight sweater, her nipples jutting.
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