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Sunday evening as he set a platter of spare ribs, sauerkraut and potatoes on the table and took his chair, he said, “Okay, guys, I get the picture. You can have your Christmas, but leave me out of it. I’ll give you twenty-five bucks each to buy presents for each other. If you want a tree, well you can hike up the mountain and cut one. But I ain’t buyin’ any presents and I don’t wanna see one under that tree with my name on it, ya hear! I mean it! If you try to sneak one in on me, it’s goin’ right back to the store for a refund.”“Alright, alright!” Lynn snapped. “Have it your way, sourpuss! But I don’t see why you get so bent out of shape over the biggest holiday of the year.”“Yeah,” Adam jumped in, “What happened? You get a piece of coal in your sock when you were little or somethin’? You’re as bad as Scrooge.”Aaron put his fork down and sat back in his chair. “Look, this argument comes up every year, so how many times do I have to say it? I don’t believe in God and I don’t believe. Crossing the room, but careful to keep her back to the garderobe where the eager lover was concealed, she knelt at the prie-dieu in a small alcove to say her nightly Rosary, as well as prayers for her Lord’s safe return. Our hero, poor deluded fool, and only able to see through a crack in the panelling, was completely taken in, and as the minutes passed grew ever more excited in anticipation of her debauching. Finally, her prayers finished, the maid turned and moved towards the great bed as if about to disrobe, increasing his arousal even further. However, as she passed the garderobe, she turned the key in the lock, and then left the chamber, laughing quietly to herself. By the time she returned in the morning to release him from his prison, the intemperate suitor was in quite a state, there being nowhere for him to relieve himself of his full bladder. It caused much merriment among the other servants, who had been made privy to the subterfuge, as he fled down the corridors clutching.
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