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Instead, they have a bunch of empty rooms with flags and backdrops set up, and photographers. You get called into one of the rooms, with your family and whoever else you want in the photo, and it all gets faked! You could bring in the cast of Sesame Street and be photo’d with your right hand raised and your left hand on Grover’s head and it would be totally legit. In fact, donate enough money to the campaign and you can be in the background, smiling as Congressman Needsdough gets sworn in. You don’t even have to be sworn in with your hand on a Bible. There are no laws saying you have to. It can be on a Koran or the Book of Mormon or a set of car keys. I settled for the small King James Version bible I had received as a gift from my godmother after my confirmation. That was back in the days when I still lived at home and Hamilton hadn’t totally gone crazy yet.We didn’t get silly. We asked Suzie if she wanted to come down with her family for the fun and games. She had a good laugh, but. Paul was where he said he would be and as I joined him, he immediately looked down at my swinging organs and uttered "woohoo!". His hand lifted my balls and dick into the palm of his hand before letting them go. "Right, I'm going down. I'll turn the music off and I'll tell Derek I have a birthday surprise. That's when you come down, ok?". I nodded to signal my understanding and compliance. "Go on then, get on with it" I almost snapped. I was already beginning to regret agreeing to this and was 5 seconds away from backing out. I opened my mouth to say as much when Paul quickly disappeared down the dark stairwell. I stood there, ears staining to hear above the melee when suddenly ... silence."Where's Derek? Derek!!! Derek! Oh, there you are, come here. Now. It's not every day that you turn 50 and not every day that you turn into an old man! So, 'old man', hold your breath - and your cock - whilst I present you with your birthday surprise! And here it is..."This was my signal to descend.
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