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We both liked our bedroom as dark as possible to sleep. The honeycomb shades did the trick. In fact, it was practically dark enough to load film canisters, if I was still developing my own film. I'd stopped that a couple of years ago when I finally ran out of steam. Six rolls from a long weekend at Yosemite, and in my rush to develop them and see what I had I told myself that the developer I had from a couple of months ago would be good enough. It wasn't.I remember that afternoon. My stomach knotted as though I was going to throw up. I felt a lead weight on my heart. Mostly, I felt despair. Fucked up again. The evidence was quite clear. "Clear," in fact, described the result perfectly. Virtually no detail at all in the negatives. Nothing. Zilch. Nothing I could salvage, even with the hardest highest-contrast paper I could find. It was hopeless. I felt like shit. Like failure. Dad wouldn't have approved, I'm sure of that.Just a fuckup. That's what it felt like and that's what it was.. Not that I minded. But yes, she took the lead very early in therelationship. But her real personality only came out a few months later.It first happened on our honeymoon. As we lay naked on the bed, shedecided I needed a feminine makeover. "You look so pretty Neil, I want tosee how you look like a girl," she said.She brushed my protests aside, and applied make-up on my face. Afoundation was used for my skin tone and then blush-on, eye-shadow,mascara etc. She also attached false eye lashes and applied a generouscoat of red lipstick on my lips. I must have looked very nice becauseRita said I looked gorgeous and was turning her on. Needless to say, thattransformation led to one steamy round of love-making. But that was theend of it and Rita didn't mention my transformation again, for a fewmonths at least.Some months later, Rita got a lucrative job offer in the United States.She grabbed it. Considering it paid so well, I decided to sacrifice myjob and we moved to Atlanta. As Rita settled.
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