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It was one thing to flirt on the phone or over the internet, but it was quite another to contemplate actually taking things to another level. Sure, I had fantasized about it, but I told myself it could never go beyond that. There was still a part of me that just wanted to run to Tyler and smother him with kisses, but I couldn't. Even though I was in love with him, I just couldn't do it. I saw Tyler step towards me, and thought he might be coming to kiss me, so I quickly cut him off with a, "So, I guess we should stretch first." Quickly I turned away and dropped to the mat. When I glanced back, Tyler had a confused look upon his face, but he too soon plopped down as well. Inside I felt horrible as I must have been toying with his emotions. We had grown very close before, only to have me push him away, yet there I was doing it again. Little was said during our exercise program, and rather than go for a run or walk afterwards, I instead chose to hit the shower alone. As the water rained. God and I do not see eye to eye, he finally voiced with a gruffness I hadn't heard before.Suddenly, I felt ill, unidentified discomfort in my stomach. "I'm sorry if I upset you. Percy, my stomach-"I believe organised religion to be the worst form of hypocrisy. It seeks to oppress. And I will say no more on the matter.As quickly as it came, the waves of nausea left me. No doubt, I had angered him. Wanting to shake this uncomfortable feeling between us, I changed the subject. "Do you want to know why I was at your family gravesite, Percy?"You told me you wanted to be like me."That's true, but there's more to it." Tell me."My professor told me to do something that scared me ... and graveyards scared me." There's more. You're holding back from me, Carolyn. I sense your hesitation.Dare I say it out loud? I knew I must. If I couldn't tell my beloved, Percy, then who could I tell."I refused to go to my mother's burial." Tears clouded my eyes as I thought back to that dreadful day. "My father.
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