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I am an introvert. A serious introvert. One of nearly the hermit kind. One of my favorite quotes on the subject is by the writer Neal Stephenson: “Where did all these people come from, and how do I make them go away?” What this means as far as Christmas is concerned is that even though I enjoy gift-giving, I absolutely hate crowds.When I was about thirty and single—in days before the Internet—I developed tactics for shopping that made dealing with the crowds easier. I didn’t shower, shave, or brush my teeth for three days before going out to hit the malls (in those days, a stubbly face was a sign of poor grooming rather than a fashion statement). On the fateful day, I dressed in raggedy, grubby clothes. A pair of jeans I’d dragged around the garage floor until they were grimy and reeked of oil and gasoline. A tattered shirt. A holey tee-shirt was the best, weather permitting. Then I’d chew and swallow three cloves of raw garlic, washing each mouthful down with a shot of whiskey.. A couple of times I ran into Mandy without Haight and a couple of those times she tried to hook up with me, but I wasn't interested. At least not until one Tuesday night when I was out looking for some friends to hang with. I was out looking for company because Pauline had called me and told me that she would be working late again.I was downtown and I just happened to see Pauline get out of a car with a man and go into Maxims which was a fairly upscale restaurant. They were holding hands as they walked up to the door and went inside. Curiosity got the best of me so I gave it about ten minutes and then I went inside. I saw Pauline and the man sitting in a booth next to each other. Not on opposite sides where they could look at each other while they talked and ate, but side by side. Pauline was leaning into the man and her head on his shoulder. Her left hand was on the table holding the man's right hand and I didn't care to see any more so I turned and left.I hit the arcade, but didn't.
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