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" "Then it's time that you experience things all women enjoy? like shopping, having your nails done and your hair styled." "Like this!" "Of course dear! How else?" "But?but?" I started to sound like a car that needed a tune up, but mother had made up her mind! "Michael, you and I both know that you want to go out and make people think that you are really a girl, don't we? Lets stop pretending that you are so attached to your macho self and admit that you love being a girl." Why did she always know? Are all mothers able to read their children's mind like this? Without waiting for an answer she said, "Get a purse and put your wallet and some lipstick in it and I'll get cleaned up a bit before we go." As I waited for her to get ready I knew that mother was right. I no longer had any reason to use excuses or delaying tactics. The time had come; I had to step outside wearing women's clothes. I had to, and wanted to, act enough like a real girl to convince everyone that would see me that I. And then you reach your goal ... War. It's about time, you think; now you can die and still be a man. What a lie you tell your self.Then the fun starts...Walking through the jungle doing the things the Powers That Be want done doesn't bother you. Sleeping in rain, sweat and fear doesn't either; you've done that all your life. Then comes the sweet sound of Dustoff and your life changes forever. You watch detached as the bird gets shot to shit and you're firing and firing and then your bleeding and screaming. Your team gets you on the next Dustoff and you wonder why the medic is looking at you so strangely, so filled with pity. You're happy now something you always dreamed of being, you know you didn't fail, you are just like a man.Then the fun starts...Waking up in a hospital is so strange; you know you're dead. Is this some awful purgatory? The doctors come in and talk between themselves and never look at you or answer any questions. The nurses plump your pillows and change dressings.
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