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Running to the loose board he hit it hard with his shoulder, eliciting a groan from himself and a muffled squawk from the goose, who jerked her beak from his hand in the process.“WHAT’S GOING ON OUT THERE?!” came a stentorian bass voice loudly from the house.Mortimer stepped out the back door. He stopped suddenly, his eyes going round and wild at the same time.“FEE FIE FOE FUM!” he yelled. “I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!”Mortimer’s beady eyes spied the frantic movement of both Jack, running hell-bent-for-leather, and the wings of his magic goose flapping as Jack held the goose out in front of him, trying to keep that nasty beak from pecking his eyes out.“FUM, FOE, FIE, FEE!” screamed Mortimer. “TIS A STINKING ENGLISHMAN STEALING MY GOOSE I SEE!”“Ohhhhh shit!” moaned Jack.The goose did. And for you city folk, you need to know that geese excel at that particular bodily function. More about that later.It was a footrace. It shouldn’t have been much of a contest at all, what with. In fact right now it’s an absolute disaster. I’ve been forced to take a long hard look at the way I live and treat people. But I’m still relatively young, so I can come back from this. My biggest mistake was in believing that men would do the right thing. Neither of the men involved in my story did the right thing. Truthfully my idea of the right thing, is whatever is best for me, but I guess neither of them realized that. My other mistake was in believing that other women would also act according to the rules and principles that I think keeps life organized. The other woman in the story was not supposed just swoop in and grab my toys before I was done playing with them. So now I find myself taking this embarrassing bus ride back to my parent’s house to try and rebuild my life in the hick town that I was so eager to escape from. I’m sure those small town tongues will be wagging when I get there. It will definitely not be the triumphant return that I expected, but it’s.
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