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But you’d be wrong and airlines know it. That’s why you pay extra for your luggage, while the airplane also carries an incredible amount of food and drink along that never gets touched. I know this because there was a printed menu available to Business Class passengers. Just the drinks section was seven pages and it contained options such as a ‘breakfast Martini’, three types of Bourbon, nine types of wine and even Drambuie. I mean, who the fuck drinks THAT? Drambuie goes into Christmas cake and that’s it!The food section also contained a short monograph about the nature of the perfect panna cotta, in which the airline’s ‘chef’ waxes lyrically about the perfect ration of solidity to softness and how it ‘should slide smoothly over the palate without any grittiness or lumps’. And that we should all be grateful we have gelatin available to us these days, because they used to set the cream with fish bone meal. That’s a full page out of the menu! For panna cotta! Which you can get in. .. oh silly me..." she tailed off and Neil was amazed to seeshe was crying. "Anyway, thank you all." The applause was warm andheartfelt and Neil saw Mrs Wilberforce press his mother's hand and speakto her. She walked back to her friends with her head held high."She asked me to come and see her at the manor" she said breathlessly."I'm so proud!"THREECoincidently, Neil knew Mrs Wilberforce's daughter, Clarissa. It washard to believe the relation; overweight, loud and coarse, she wasalways in trouble at school. A year older than Neil, she was now in thesixth form, but there was a time when he had been quite afraid of her.One day, about a year ago, Clarissa had come to school wearing a nose-ring. Neil had never seen one before and had given her the double-takeas she'd walked past."What are you looking at?" Nothing. It's just..." Just what?" Nothing. I..." You like to stare at girls, is that it?" No, I..." What, you gay or something?" No, I wasn't staring." Because you're gay." Yes, I mean.
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