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That was another thing that I was made to do. I was interested in women and still am but the girl who they made me take was young and crying the whole time. What they did after that to her was really bad."I would like to live differently but don't know much of anything or how to do things other than what I've been doing."It was strange how many of the survivors weren't happy with their lives I thought. They just didn't seem to understand that, if they had banded together, they could have stopped the Triple-A's. I had Able put in the second group. If Carol survived, it would be interesting to see her reaction. It would tell us much about the young man with the funny name.The day went on and Ben and I continued to interrogate the captives. Poppa Jack came in with sandwiches for us and told us that his Aunt Mary and Cindy were questioning the women. I suggested that we compare notes over supper. He said he would pass that on to them. He said that the women's stories were heartbreaking.. However it is a double edged swordwhich can force the realization of all the supposed deceptions ones selfhad propagated in childhood only to be mortified by the realization inlater life that I was in actual fact fooling no one but myself.I can honestly say I became aware of my true gender at the tender age ofthree when I could not understand why I was being treated as a boy. Someinstinct told me to keep my true feelings to myself. It was the earlysixties after all and not an age of enlightenment.Anyway I realised with that hindsight the mother I never got to know wasallowing my desire to dress in her clothes in sneaky mode was well awarebut never interrupted my dressing up times. How I loved that velvetysmooth blue silky dress which drowned my ankles in my smallness.A mother knows everything regardless of what you might think.If you might think that a three year old child cannot be possibly awareof their true gender identity then I urge you to think again.All your head shrinks will.
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