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Like many of the other guys in your class, you had made the Freshman 15 one of your goals for the year, but being stuck inside of a tiny little room with nothing to do while everyone else was getting to know each other was going to set you miles behind.The one upside of the whole hospital trip, you reflect to yourself as you pack away one of your two suitcases, was that hot nurse that I got to flirt with a bunch. She was cute and seemed kind of into me. Too bad nothing ever came of it, though.Well, it wasn’t like you had tried to make a move on her anyways. You figured that a sexy woman like her probably had a boyfriend already (though she never mentioned one), so instead, you discretely jacked off to the thought of her when there was nobody around. It wasn’t your proudest moment, but hey, a guy had to cope somehow right? You shrug and continue to sort out your room.Just as you’re putting up your last poster - a Run the Jewels one that you picked up at their concert - there’s a knock. You deserve to be her dad, every bit as real a dad as David ever was. I know you suffered all of those years. It’s time for you to take your rightful place as her father, as you have as my husband.” “I want that, Stacey, I won’t kid you; but, we’ve got to end this familial war first. It’s giving me ulcers for crying out loud, and I’m not kidding. I didn’t tell you, but I went to the doctor’s the other day. I’ve been having trouble peein’ and I do have the beginning of a peptic ulcer and maybe kidney problems. I know that at least the ulcer is stress related. Stress caused by our community nit wit!” he said. She laughed. “Yeah, well he is pretty dumb when one gets down to it. He could be marginally rich if he didn’t have such an insufferable ego. Me dumping him hurt him; I completely understand that, and he had a right to be angry and all; but it’s long past the time for him to be getting a life and dumping all of the anger and bitterness that is ruining him and discomfiting the rest.
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