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I was notinterested in cars and machines. I wondered why was it wrong for a manto be effeminate if that was who he was. Why did I have to act a certainway to be considered a man. I know that my father and brothers weredisappointed in the fact that I did not act macho. I just wanted to beme and did not think that it is wrong for a man to be sensitive and intouch with his feelings.I guess I have been a quiet dreamer all of my life. I liked to enjoy thebeauty of roses and the other flowers in bloom. I loved to smell thefragrance of fresh cut grass. I enjoyed the gurgling of a water fall orthe babbling of a brook. Maybe this may make me seem like less of a man,compared to the macho males that were presently holding me captive. Idid not know if I wanted to be a girl either. I did not really believe Iwanted to live like a woman, but I did want to continue to do the thingsI loved to do. I just really wondered why mankind was really hung up onwhat constitutes a man and why if. The two of them had been as lovestruck over at Jill's as any couple I'd ever seen. And they were in their own little world at the game. I just hoped I'd get a chance to talk to him before Mom found him. If he'd been in the waiting room when she arrived, I don't think he would have gotten out alive. I have never seen my mother that enraged. In fact, I've never seen anybody that enraged.Mom finished her forms and came back to the couch I was sitting on."Have they said anything yet, Jackie?" No, Mom. You were right over there. I would have sent them over to you." I know. I'm just so worried." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and buried her face in me. She shook and I knew the tears had started again.Once again, we reversed roles. The son, comforting the mother, telling her everything was going to be all right. Hoping desperately that everything was going to be all right and I wasn't lying to her.The crying slowed down until she was just sniffling a bit. She got a beat up Kleenex.
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