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She ordered a large scotch on the rocks from the barman, who'd come over as she'd been climbing onto the tall stool. I paid for it!"You don't have to," she'd said."I wouldn't feel right if I didn't," I replied.Then we both sat in silence for what seemed to me to be a very long time."Well are we going to do this or not?" she eventually asked."Y-yeah, whenever you're ready," I replied nervously.I'd never done anything like this before and the fact that I was a novice at this kind of thing must have been showing. Knocking her scotch back like an old soldier, she slid off the barstool and took hold of my arm, then gently guided me from the bar out into the hotel foyer.I must admit that I felt somewhat proud, that I had such a beautiful stranger hanging on my arm in a public place. Look, I ain't no god's gift to the females of this planet and I'm the first to admit it, mind you, I ain't no Quasimodo neither.Crossing the expanse to the lifts, I noted that she seemed to momentarily lose her. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.The crowd went wild!Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show."You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?" Well laddie" said the Scot "Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be"This group is compliments of John & BerylI walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one get one free". "They're already buy 0ne get one free' she said' so I guess they're both free". She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door."One day while walking along the beach with some friends one of them said look at that dead bird" Another looked up and said "where is it?"My.
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