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”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”The boss replied, “You have a wee cough?”I said, “Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!”A fly is minding his own business when a gnat lands on its back. Bemused, the fly says, “Is there a gnat on my back?”The gnat says, “Gnat at all.”“That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard,” says the. Our combined sex smells filled the room. We had ordered extra towels and wehn the maid knocked Louise pulled on a gown and I slid into the bed. louise let her in and asked her to put the towels in the bathroom and remove the wet ones. We both smiled at the expression of envy and disapproval combined in the maid's face, as she inhaled the odors of our lovemaking. The maid left and Louise came to the bed. We broked out the toys and fooled around, building that delicious swollen-fleshed sense of secual arousal that is a twilight zone in which you feel no tiredness, your mind is alert, your sexual organs including nipples, ear lobes and lips are alert to the slightest caresss or brush of a palm, and you are in the Zone of Eros. After a few hours of play, I was relaxing for a break when she started using a blue cock-shaped vibbrator on me, pressing it into my scrotum and running it full speed, then onto my cock head. I was a turn on and especially how it felt on my balls, so I asked her.
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