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What you're reading now is smut. Be forewarned.=================================================================MASTER PC: Self-Experimentation By Ed Miller=================================================================My girlfriend had gone to work, which left me home with more or less nothing to do. The problem with working construction is how to deal with the time off in the off-season. Luckily, I only had a week of down time ahead of me, but I had no idea how I was going to spend it. At least it gave me the free time that characters in these stories always seem to mysteriously have.I shrugged and decided to check my email. At least that would kill a few minutes. I started up the computer (Rachel's computer, actually; I hadn't paid for it) and began to log on to the Internet.I reflected that, after years of surfing for porn, the simple act of turning on the computer now gave me a hard-on. Ah, what the hell, I thought as I fired up the web browser. A little surfing will kill even. "Banzai said...Jack was being his usual pain in the ass self, thank God the Butterbar gave him shit so I didn't need to. I prepared a morphine injection and some lidocaine and said, "Jack, after this you shouldn't feel a thing."I nailed his leg with the morphine, and injected the lidocaine in his ass adjacent to the wound from the shrapnel.Jack jumped and swore, "I thought you said this wasn't going to hurt."I laughed and said, "So I lied! Give it a few minutes."Jack continued, "Perhaps you should have..."He lapsed into unconsciousness, I looked at the Butterbar and asked, "Are you ready?"He asked, "What can I do?"I answered, "First we need to clean the hell out of our hands." I pulled a bottle of vodka out of the UOP, opened the lid, poured some on my hands and motioned to the Butterbar to hold out his hands. As he did, I poured some over his hands and he asked, "Why are you using vodka?"I took a big swig and answered, "Because it works externally and internally. Now let's glove.
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