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. In my mind I just said Thanks David! For a lovely end to the night... We soon collapsed asleep.The next Day was Friday and in the morning before going to work, Susan suggested that we invite David to dinner on the next night Saturday night, I thought that was a good idea and so a little later in the morning I phoned David and Invited him, he was trilled and said he would love to come, I told him I would meet him in the bar where we met the other night, at 7.00 pm. and we could have a drink first before we went home, he agreed and we left it at thatThat Night I went to bed before Susan she was watching a movie, I got thinking of the previous night and the attraction Susan had for David, I was wondering when had she gotten turned on,? When did her fanny want sex, Soon I was rock hard and found my hand playing with my cock, I was thinking of her thinking of him, I was wanking myself with great pleasure, thinking of her kissing him and him touching her, I was not jealous just very. I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning - or loneliness, whichever gets me first. I don't know how in the world I got to this point in my life but Jesus Fucking Christ, it sucks. I want my happy ending too, dammit. I want kids and a loving husband. A family to come home to that will be excited to see me with hugs,.
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