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Her father was also in the Royal Navy, and like us his home portwas Portsmouth, so the two families lived close together. As well ashaving similar names, the two cousins were about the same age, the samesize and build, and looked uncommonly alike, even down to their hairstyles(Andrew wore his hair rather long for a boy). It was a standing familyjoke that each could impersonate the other without any of us noticing."Perhaps we teased them too hard. Would we have teased them less if wehad known the fuse we were lighting? I don't know. At any rate, one daywhen Andrea was staying with us, she and Andrew swapped clothes withoutwarning me. When they came downstairs to play, I was preoccupied withsome household task or other, and did not notice for several minutes. Infact, they might have had to tell me themselves."It was a great joke, and we laughed together heartily. But when Isuggested to them that the time had come to change back, Andrea protestedthat she wanted to be Andrew for. It was the silence that got to me. No one said, "Josh, are you there?"If I'd connected with Wanda, she could have said the words, but I refused to make the connection, and I tamped down all other thoughts, emotions and sensations until I heard only background noise and felt only the heaviness in my heart and soul.I remained in that state for months. But for Wanda's persistence to keep me alive, I would have died. I wanted to die.And then one day, everything changed. The nightmares stopped. I rose from my bed refreshed and fed myself, and I started to paint again. I went from a depressed, almost catatonic state, to a flurry of activity. I painted night and day, and the work was good. I developed Pierre and Grace's restaurant, and it became one of only a few five-star restaurants in the Phoenix metro area.I flew to Boston. Gloria was a shell of her former self. She tried to be cheerful, but failed. Just before I left her she told me she wanted a new body and a new life, that this life.
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