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" Thanks again, Chrissy, you're coming has made my day here a littlenicer."Mine too, Roger, I'm looking forward to seeing you again. I am goingto have to say good-bye, though, I have places I have to be."He looks at me a little wistfully, "I wish you could stay a littlelonger, but it's okay. So, good-bye, I guess, and I am looking forwardto getting together, too. You are truly a beautiful woman, Chrissy, inmore ways than one," finishing with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes,which all of a sudden I find very appealing. I also find over the nextseveral weeks, I think of him at odd times, accompanied by a very nicefeeling. But it eventually fades as other aspects of my life takeprecedence.As I leave Roger and the grounds, I turn around briefly and wave good-bye, and he, as I rather expected (hoped? I don't know), is watching meand waves back. As I reach my SUV, I'm thinking, 'this has certainlybeen a much better trip than I could ever have hoped for. Seeing mymother and having her. "Yeah?" Do you still like me?" I was going to cry, I could feel it coming."Yeah," he said gently, like he knew I was already hurting. "I'll always like you..." He might have wanted to say more, but I felt bad and I didn't want him to hear me crying."Okay," I whispered. "Bye."And I didn't get up, I just pushed the phone to my stomach and let it come. I rocked my body back and forth, not understanding why it had to be like this. I hurt so bad inside and there was no reason for it. I started sobbing loudly, unable to help myself, and it seemed that my whole life was just exploding out of me. Time passed, I knew, but I had no concept of it anymore. Someone wrapped me up in his arms, standing behind me, hugging me until I collapsed there at the table, dropping the phone with a plastic clatter and gripping those strong arms.It was my dad, and he held me like he'd been waiting his whole life to do it. He didn't say anything. He just waited until I was through finally. Until my body stopped.
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