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Regular member had first dibs and at large requests were selected by committee; yes photos were required. Because the Holiday Party committee was chaired by Lady Everham who was from Birmingham, England, I was dressed in the green robes of Father Christmas instead of the usual red suit. As Emcee I had the task of ensuring the entertainment portion of the party moved along properly and making announcements as needed. My primary duty was in fact to pass out the gifts for those people that had their names on one of my lists, and that was what all the boys and girls looked forward to. The entertainment was a live band and they were good, plus a talent show in between the band's sets. For some reason people like to perform their stupid human tricks in public and the talent show was not always a crowd favorite. Last year I spiced it up Apollo Theater style, but we didn't have the Sand Man escort you off stage.Bad acts paid a price for the rotten performances; if you sucked, you might. His brows furrow when I hold them up. “You don’t have to pick one,” I say. “It’s just that some guys get weird about doing me when there’s nothing to look at.”“I’m not weird,” he says.“I could also draw a face on the bag,” I say, reaching for the Sharpie in my purse.“Okay fine,” he says. “I’ll pick a face. A real one.”I fan them out for him, the heads of the women I’ve kept forever in my mental toy chest. He picks the Duchess of Cambridge and instantly I know what kind of fucker this guy is.“You like her?” I ask, wagging Kate’s face at him. “You think she’s hot?”“She’s okay.” He cocks his head to the side and takes another swig of his beer.His confidence is kind of sexy, even though it won’t last. He’s the sort of guy I would have dreamt about getting with in high school, except back then my idea of getting with a guy was more like holding hands and going out for ice cream and shit. I’m sure behind his pent-up ironic obnoxiousness that he’s probably thinking of taking Kate Middleton.
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