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Your wife admits who she is, how about saving us all this silliness and doing the same? We have more than prints, you know, you gave us a DNA sample when you started at..."He trailed off as he saw me shaking my head gently, and sighed again. "Shit. You got that, too. We'll do it anyway, but I guess..." Another sigh.Then he brightened up. "There's more, though, a lot more. Photographs—" his face fell abruptly, remembering. He opened the folder and pulled out the paper I guess he'd had at the house. He pushed it over to me; it was the altered ID picture. "This is you, right?"I pretended to study it. "Seems a perfectly presentable young man," I said, passing it back to him. "But of course it isn't me, as you can see yourself."That earned me another glare, but no argument; the changes I'd coached Spook into making that first day were subtle enough that there was still a passing resemblance, but nobody could pretend it was a good likeness."There are voice-prints, too, you know," he said. “Yes. Yes, I did. Go the blue, white and red!” he gleamed with pride.“When did you graduate?” I asked.“In 1975” He answered “Why do you ask?”“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit son-of-a-birch asked “Oh Really? What did you teach?”This group is compliments of a Friend of J & G.A man dies ‘in the act’ after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large coffin or to amputate his member”.“Well I have no more money” states the widow “and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece”.The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brainwave: He’ll amputate his dick and then stick it up the deceased’s.
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