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He then asked if I understood what the new cream for ladies they mined here, well I said I believe it helps them relax when their husbands are away in other parts of the empire. Well he explained as we drank a very good brandy, This is the only place in the world we have managed to manufacture this cream it sells at £30 per ounce, O i exclaimed expensive so what does it do. Well we sell it in 1 ounce tins and well he coughed a lady who has not seen her husband and had relations apply a small dab to her clitoris and well it gives them a most sensual experience which re minds them of their man-folk and well to put it bluntly it makes them orgasm and well keeps them faithful so the government encourages our endeavours here and well subsides us. He explained he and his wife oversee the operation and where 2 years in to a 3 year posting. However he was leaving the day after tomorrow and his wife would need some assistance, he then showed me a small tub of the cream which I inspected with. ”“I didn’t know the way, doc, let me try again.”“O.k. GO” and he’s running again, down the stairs, across the pavement (almost skittling a little old lady), across the road just missing a bus and into the toilet and again hand out the window.“Well, how was that, doc?”“Hmmm! 26 seconds, alright open wide.” He swallowed the medication and took off like a 100 metre sprinter, down the stairs almost ripping the handrail off the wall, across the pavement, across the street causing a taxi to swerve violently and into the toilet.The doc was watching and timing this, 25 seconds, he’ll be O.k. He thought and went back to work.About half an hour later, there was a knock on the door and the guy came in absolutely covered in shit, “have you got a penny in exchange for two half penny’s?”Paddy and Mick were looking for work when they saw a sign saying help wanted. Going in they asked about getting a job.The boss said I’ll need to ask a couple of questions to see if you’ll fit in.So he takes Paddy.
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