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Inevitably then, through that intimate closeness, my pain gradually became replaced by something else. Something new. Something scary. I began to crave her touch, that sense of mothering closeness, that feeling of my skin on hers. I became a junkie for the perfumed aroma of her clothes, the soft texture of her nylon stockings against my leg, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she held me close, her whispered words. I began to make excuses to visit her, prolonging the outward appearance of agony long after the memory of why I was hurting in the first place had faded. I offered to do yard work for her, to clean her house, to iron her clothes. Anything to be close to the older woman who beguiled me so. I never stopped to think how wrong it was, how inappropriate. I never stopped to think what my mom would say or the chuntering chorus of the town's moral choir. I just had to be there.And then, one day, everything changed.She was in her study. It was a gloriously brilliant August. I set I down on the counter beside my penis andlooked at my groin. It was now empty and smooth, the only sign of myballs a slight depression in the skin.I chuckled and ran my hand over it. It felt very odd, as though my cockand balls were totally numb, but the truth was much weirder. My genitalswere completely gone, sitting on the counter top in front of me. Itsolved my blue balls problem, anyway.I sat and a took a piss, the feeling strange because I wasn't goingthrough my penis. I would never urinate through the penis I was bornwith again, the organ which had grown large between my legs as I becamea man. Never have sex with it again, either. Damn this was odd. Excitingthough, too. If I'd still had a cock it would have been rock hard. Justlike the one lying in the counter, I thought, and laughed.The flow of urine was uncontrolled and ragged, more of a spray than astream. After I finished I stood and wiped, feeling the strange numbnessfeeling in my groin again, then picked up my.
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