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“Oh come on you’re always with him! You want to have fun don’t you?” “I am having fun, look at all the stuff we won!” Ashley stood there for a second frustrated. “Rita come on for real, ditch this loser and let’s go!” Now I had to step in. “Hey don’t get mad because she doesn’t wanna go to your lame party!” “The only thing lame around here is you, the only reason she’s hanging around you is because she feels bad for you, she even said so herself,” Ashley yelled. “Yeah like I’m gonna believe anything you say” “Ask her, she’s right there. The only reason she hangs around you is because you don’t have any friends of your own, you’re a loser who’s only been on one date, and it went bust! Everyone knows about it! You can’t get a date to save your life! She wants her own life, but since you’re her loser twin she feels she has to hang with you!” I looked to Rita, who was silent while all of this was going on. “She’s lying, right Rita?” “I-I, well you, I didn’t ...” “You see, she doesn’t. For all the negative things Emily had told me tonight, I had to admitshe made the prospect of staying a girl seem pretty goddamn attractive.It's like she didn't even appreciate what a bad ass she was not onlyfor putting up with all of it, but also for carving out her own way ofbeing in the face of it. Mrs. Komori, too. Even that bitch AshleighBodine had her own circle of power, even if she misused it.So whatever else happened, whether I came back from Darla's the rod orthe water, I'd be someone new. I could no more become the old Martinas that Martin could become child-Martin or baby-Martin again. We grewup, or?in my case-- we grew down. But we never stayed the same person.Experiences molded us along with our abilities and our limitations.People and their bullshit received ideas defined us, but like Emily andher mom, we further defined ourselves in relation to that. We acceptedit or rejected it, we accommodated it and found our power in whateverway we could. Emily painted, Mrs..
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