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"Keith smiled, his lips twisting in a crooked grin that made him all the more handsome. His green eyes riveted upon her body as it emerged from the water. The moon made the drops on her skin seem almost luminous. Every step exposed more of her glorious body until she stood before him, naked as the day she was born, her hand held out for her clothing, her nipples hard from the night air."Can I have my clothes?" she asked, feeling a strange heat in her stomach from the way his eyes seemed to devour her body. Her voice was husky and strange sounding to her ears. She could only hope he didn't notice."What, these? I found these on the bank. I think that some trespasser left them there." He held them out of her reach."Dammit, Keith," she hissed. "Why are you being such a prick? Because I gave old man Bob what he wanted, and am rescuing his house? Or don't you like being out finagled by a woman?" I don't know what you're talking about," he said nonchalantly though he felt that first niggle. ‘Well, what did you expect? The scent of roses and carnations?’ ‘Well, no.’ ‘Precisely. Have you ever seen a woman take a dump before?’ ‘No, Aunt Anne.’ ‘Well you have today. Whilst we pee differently, I think you’ll agree that a woman taking shit isn’t all that much different to a guy taking one. Some of us even smell worse and drop bigger loads. I can outdo Brian any day. How’s uni going, by the way? I hope you’re working hard and playing hard, getting drunk when you can afford it, and staying clear of the dope.’ A torrent of pee cascaded from Anne’s peehole into the toilet, making a hissing sound. ‘It’s okay, and I’m trying to do all those.’ ‘Good. Well, let me give you some more advice. When I went to Cambridge, the ‘other place’ as you’ve no doubt been taught call it, I realised for the first time in my life that I could do a good poo when I wanted one, not when other people thought I should go. It hit me during the first term that there was no one waiting to give me castor oil.
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